my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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