what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
