i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
