I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
