So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
