if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
