I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
