Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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