he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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