Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
