I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
