me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
