doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
