Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
