he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
