never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
cat food counts as protein by the way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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