Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just pee around me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this is an emotional support booty call
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
