I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
