You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize