barbara walters just said penis...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
