We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
