matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
