Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
false alarm. still invincible.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize