Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
