Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
