i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
