You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
