Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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