There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
