dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize