people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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