how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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