We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
