What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
