break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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