No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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