If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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