"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
