Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
