The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
