marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im holly from the hills drunk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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