And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
