its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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