He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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