What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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