I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize