at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
