good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Found your dick twin last night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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