The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize