So drunk, too bad you don't want this
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
