Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
