Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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