Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
