Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You have to summon your inner elephant
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
