I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
