I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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