i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize