I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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