I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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