Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
