My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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