He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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