i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
