from now on my penis is your penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
